Sunday, July 15, 2012

Ghost Stories

I love the scene depicted in this Penn College card.  It reminds me of all the camping trips my family took when I was growing up. 
Penn College -- 77/150, 51.3%

Probably my favorite clean joke to tell around the campfire is a version of a joke I heard comedian Jon Fox tell on the Bob and Tom show years ago. 

A magician was on a cruise ship doing a gig when he noticed in the front was a passenger with a parrot. He didn't make much of it until he did a trick where a dove appeared magically out of thin air.

"It was in his sleeve!" cried the parrot.

The magician, somewhat annoyed, played the remark off, and continued on with his show.

The next trick he performed involved making his assistant disappear from one side of the stage, and magically appear on the other side of the stage.

"He's using twins!" yelled the parrot.

"Ok, this is getting a little annoying," thought the magician, as he went into a third trick, which involved making a metal sphere float in mid air.

"The ball's on a wire!" blurted the parrot.

At this point, the magician is absolutely flumoxed...He thinks "How can I continue my show? This bird is giving away all my secrets?"

Just as he's getting ready to go into his next trick, a terrible shaking from hitting an iceberg rocks the boat, and the ocean liner suddenly sinks like a rock, leaving the magician and the parrot clinging to a piece of wood.

For the next two days, the parrot and the magician cling to this piece of wood, just staring intently at each other. Sitting and staring, staring and sitting. At the end of the second day, the parrot says "Ok, I give up. What did you do with the ship?"

My favorite dirty joke is also one I heard on the Bob and Tom Show during a skit called "Elevator Talk".

As a man boards an elevator, he notices that a gorgeous woman is already riding the elevator.  They exchange pleasantries and then silently stare forward for about ten floors.   It is then that the man sheepishly asks, "Um, excuse me, miss, but, can I smell your panties?"

She gasps, "Of course not!"

"Oh", he replies.  "Then it must be your feet."

So, what's your favorite joke or story to tell around the campfire?

1 comment:

SpastikMooss said...

I need to pick up more clean jokes for my future as a teacher! I always like a lot of nerdy jokes though which are pretty clean. Like "An electron walks into a bar and asks how much. The bartender says for you, no charge."

All my favorite dirty ones are Louis C.K. routines. Dude has some hilarious stuff. One of my favorites is this one:

Here's another darker favorite -